Happy New Year!
It's so crazy to think about how many huge changes are about to take place in my life. On the 10th, I'll be 18. On May 30th, I will graduate high school. More than likely, I will spend my entire summer working at a camp for disabled youth and adults. 2 days ago, I got my 2nd car- this one's not a hoopti! Crazy stuff.
On a different note, I want to feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. The man I have feelings for played me, and I've known him for my whole life. I should be in misery right now, but since the initial wave of anger has subsided, I just want to forgive him. I have so much care for him, it doesn't seem to matter that apparently (judging by his recent actions, since he wouldn't give me a straight answer) I don't matter. Maybe it's because of the immense support I'm receiving from my friends, some of whom seem to be more offended than me at this point. I wish I knew what feeling like this means, because I'm pretty damn sure it isn't normal to take it this way. I don't feel like telling my 5 brothers so they can "take care of him", I still want to be his friend, and I am not jealous of the other girls (3 that I know of, not that we were at all exclusive or anything). I'm obviously hurt, and I wish he would at least man up and apologize, but somehow, my feelings for him haven't changed.
Jesus take the wheel.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
"Stay Together for the Kids"
It never ceases to amaze me how truly degrading and psychologically scarring divorce is. Not even everyone escapes with no physical deterioration! There are so, so many reasons why couples should avoid divorce, aside from the issue of morality. In my family alone the effects are flooring. My heart breaks every day when I think of my older brothers whom I love so dearly. They're truly amazing, yet they live totally unfulfilled lives. Obviously, no one can say the same thing wouldn't have happened if our parents had stayed together, but I'm pretty damn sure it is the main reason for it. Both have given up not only on the institution of marriage but on love as well. Not to mention, they lost their faith a long time ago. My younger brothers battle depression and aggression and my younger sister simply does not know what it's like to live with a father because she was so young when ours left. Personally, I had to go through anger management and therapy in FIFTH GRADE because I was so angry and depressed. It thoroughly sickens me, almost eight years after the fact, what divorce has done to my family and so many others. If your parents are still together, never take what you have for granted.
Gah! It felt good to rant.
Gah! It felt good to rant.
Monday, June 13, 2011
"I know some soldiers in here"
Things I should be doing, right now:
-The dishes X(
-Calling my grandma
-Studying for finals
So here's the thing, I only have three more days, half days at that, remaining of my junior year of high school. I don't know what to think about that, it's really bittersweet. Obviously, it'll be great to be a senior, but then that's it, I'm done with high school. Which is something I definitely cannot wrap my head around right now.
A week from today, I am going to Cincinnati, Ohio with my youth group to "S.O.S." (Summer of Service) where we will spend a week performing service projects for the area and worshiping God. Two weeks from Thursday, I am leaving to go on vacation with my pastor's family. We will be going all over the place- Chicago, St. Louis, somewhere in northern Minnesota, Jackson, Wyoming... On August 11th-12th, I'm going to Indianapolis with marching band to see DCI (Drum Corps International)Quarterfinals at Lucas Oil Stadium. Then of course there's Interlochen the following week. Suffice to say that I'm going to be spending a lot of time on the road this summer.
Today, my good friend, Jake, left for Fort Stewart, GA. He is in the infantry and recently completed basic training at Fort Benning, GA (just like John in Dear John) and was stationed at Fort Stewart. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He stopped by my school today to say goodbye, mainly to his sister (who happens to be my best friend), but I was the second one in the hallway. Here are some snapshots.
8 days until the official start of summer!
God bless.
Title credit: "Soldier" Destiny's Child featuring T.I. and Lil Wayne.
-The dishes X(
-Calling my grandma
-Studying for finals
So here's the thing, I only have three more days, half days at that, remaining of my junior year of high school. I don't know what to think about that, it's really bittersweet. Obviously, it'll be great to be a senior, but then that's it, I'm done with high school. Which is something I definitely cannot wrap my head around right now.
A week from today, I am going to Cincinnati, Ohio with my youth group to "S.O.S." (Summer of Service) where we will spend a week performing service projects for the area and worshiping God. Two weeks from Thursday, I am leaving to go on vacation with my pastor's family. We will be going all over the place- Chicago, St. Louis, somewhere in northern Minnesota, Jackson, Wyoming... On August 11th-12th, I'm going to Indianapolis with marching band to see DCI (Drum Corps International)Quarterfinals at Lucas Oil Stadium. Then of course there's Interlochen the following week. Suffice to say that I'm going to be spending a lot of time on the road this summer.
Today, my good friend, Jake, left for Fort Stewart, GA. He is in the infantry and recently completed basic training at Fort Benning, GA (just like John in Dear John) and was stationed at Fort Stewart. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He stopped by my school today to say goodbye, mainly to his sister (who happens to be my best friend), but I was the second one in the hallway. Here are some snapshots.
8 days until the official start of summer!
God bless.
Title credit: "Soldier" Destiny's Child featuring T.I. and Lil Wayne.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
"Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow..."
Time goes by faster than I realize, because it definitely doesn't seem like it's been a month since I last updated.
Today is the type of day where all I want to do is lay in the grass, watching the clouds roll across the sky and listen to music. Or, go for an aimless drive with the windows down and the music up. Unfortunately, the next few hours, for me, will be spent doing pre-calc and chem homework. Then, I have to miss youth group to go to band and orchestra awards night.
Today is the type of day where I wish the concept of time was never thought of. I'd like to just forget that I have places to go and things to do, but I can't.
Today is the type of day where inhibitions are left in the dust. When the residents of Michigan, craving the sun's vitamin D, lay out in their bathing suits soaking up the precious rays they've been so deprived of.
Time. It either blurs past or creeps slowly. 15 days left of my junior year of high school. 9 days until Jake graduates from boot camp. 26 days until SOS. 36 days until I hit the road with the Pool party.
Before I know it, today will be the first day of my senior year.
Time's up, I have to get my homework done.
:)
Title credit: "The Christmas Song" Nat King Cole (Yes, that's really the name of the song)
Today is the type of day where all I want to do is lay in the grass, watching the clouds roll across the sky and listen to music. Or, go for an aimless drive with the windows down and the music up. Unfortunately, the next few hours, for me, will be spent doing pre-calc and chem homework. Then, I have to miss youth group to go to band and orchestra awards night.
Today is the type of day where I wish the concept of time was never thought of. I'd like to just forget that I have places to go and things to do, but I can't.
Today is the type of day where inhibitions are left in the dust. When the residents of Michigan, craving the sun's vitamin D, lay out in their bathing suits soaking up the precious rays they've been so deprived of.
Time. It either blurs past or creeps slowly. 15 days left of my junior year of high school. 9 days until Jake graduates from boot camp. 26 days until SOS. 36 days until I hit the road with the Pool party.
Before I know it, today will be the first day of my senior year.
Time's up, I have to get my homework done.
:)
Title credit: "The Christmas Song" Nat King Cole (Yes, that's really the name of the song)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Tangled up in Shopping and Music
Second day posting in a row!
Well, I'm just burning a couple CDs and felt compelled to update. :)
So, what CDs am I burning? A worship mix I just finished making and a copy of Panic! At the Disco's newest album, Vices and Virtues, for my good friend Jake who is currently completing basic training for the US Army at Fort Benning in Georgia.
It's Good Friday and overall, it's been a good day. I was supposed to be visiting the University of Michigan's Dearborn campus with my mom today, but we decided to reschedule. If you haven't heard, some crazy protester from Florida is in town. Apparently, he had some "burn a Quran day" in his hometown and last night he was shooting guns off in Southfield. Today, he is in Dearborn so my mom and I agreed it might not be the safest idea to visit the campus today. Instead, we went grocery shopping to get everything to make Easter dinner as well as a couple other things we needed. Then, my mom and I picked up my step-sister-to-be Grace, whom I consider my sister, and went to Starbucks. Of course, I don't like coffee so I got a strawberry smoothie. Afterwards, we went to Bath and Body Works and got a bunch of random stuff. I got a pocket size hand sanitizer called "I love boys! Berry crush" with a picture of a guy on it, rotfl. I also got body lotion in the new scent, "Country Chic", and shower gel in the new scent "Bali Mango". Then we went to Sally's Beauty Supply where I got 2 new shades of nail polish, "Fairy Dust" and "Green with Envy", a new top coat as well as a cuticle oil pen. After dropping Grace off, I boiled two dozen eggs for my younger siblings to color later. Finally, in a little more than half an hour, I'm going to babysit with Jillian and then we're going to have a sleepover (her house). We're going to watch Tangled- another movie that I highly recommend, I can't get enough of it! Over spring break, my friend Nicole spent the night, we rented it and I loved it so much that I went out and bought it the next day! It's great- hysterical AND cute! Anyway, I have to get my stuff ready for tonight.
I'm not making any promises, but I will try to keep updating at least somewhat frequently.
Grace and love,
Gina
Well, I'm just burning a couple CDs and felt compelled to update. :)
So, what CDs am I burning? A worship mix I just finished making and a copy of Panic! At the Disco's newest album, Vices and Virtues, for my good friend Jake who is currently completing basic training for the US Army at Fort Benning in Georgia.
It's Good Friday and overall, it's been a good day. I was supposed to be visiting the University of Michigan's Dearborn campus with my mom today, but we decided to reschedule. If you haven't heard, some crazy protester from Florida is in town. Apparently, he had some "burn a Quran day" in his hometown and last night he was shooting guns off in Southfield. Today, he is in Dearborn so my mom and I agreed it might not be the safest idea to visit the campus today. Instead, we went grocery shopping to get everything to make Easter dinner as well as a couple other things we needed. Then, my mom and I picked up my step-sister-to-be Grace, whom I consider my sister, and went to Starbucks. Of course, I don't like coffee so I got a strawberry smoothie. Afterwards, we went to Bath and Body Works and got a bunch of random stuff. I got a pocket size hand sanitizer called "I love boys! Berry crush" with a picture of a guy on it, rotfl. I also got body lotion in the new scent, "Country Chic", and shower gel in the new scent "Bali Mango". Then we went to Sally's Beauty Supply where I got 2 new shades of nail polish, "Fairy Dust" and "Green with Envy", a new top coat as well as a cuticle oil pen. After dropping Grace off, I boiled two dozen eggs for my younger siblings to color later. Finally, in a little more than half an hour, I'm going to babysit with Jillian and then we're going to have a sleepover (her house). We're going to watch Tangled- another movie that I highly recommend, I can't get enough of it! Over spring break, my friend Nicole spent the night, we rented it and I loved it so much that I went out and bought it the next day! It's great- hysterical AND cute! Anyway, I have to get my stuff ready for tonight.
I'm not making any promises, but I will try to keep updating at least somewhat frequently.
Grace and love,
Gina
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wow, has it really been 3 months and 6 days since I last posted anything?
There are so many things I could talk about, but I've chosen two focuses for tonight's entry- Jesus and people.
Firstly, and most importantly, I would just like to remind everyone that tomorrow is Good Friday. Good Friday is the day that Jesus was betrayed by Judas and carried the very cross he would be hanged on to the sight of his crucifixion. Easter Sunday, is the day Jesus was resurrected and ascended into heaven. To me, this is such a powerful, emotional holiday. How blessed are we to have been given Jesus- the living God in flesh who DIED so that we might join Him in heaven and live forever? That's certainly nothing I would be willing to do. I'd also like to remind everyone of Passover and the exodus of the Israelites out of Egypt. Great movies to check out, especially at this time of year, are The Ten Commandments, The Prince of Egypt, and The Passion of the Christ. If you haven't seen any or all of those, WATCH THEM! They're great, great movies that I watch time and time again.
Secondly, isn't it funny how people change? I was on Facebook, which seems to be more and more uncommon for me these days, and came across the profiles of two people- a cousin and an old friend- who have changed so drastically in the past 5 years. Sure, 5 years is a long time but not so long that I don't remember a time when I talked to these people everyday. They were among my best friends. I have many of these- numerous neighbors and countless classmates- so help me out here, why do people drift apart? I understand that like them I have changed but when I remember all of the things we did together, the days we spent together, I feel a pang in my heart because I miss them. And the truth is, it hurts. Maybe some day I'll have a better understanding of this but I definitely don't at this point in time. I am so blessed to have a great circle of friends, I just wish my old friends would join me. It's so hard to watch people throw their lives away, it really, really breaks my heart. I'm certainly not always right but I have my beliefs and nothing can change that. The reality of life is that not everybody has the same values and it's extremely difficult to maintain a strong relationship with someone who has different values than you. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm happy where I am and grateful for my friends and while I haven't stopped talking to said people, I miss the level of friendship we used to share.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to PRAISE THE LORD for his work in Demi Lovato's life. I hope, and pray, that she and anyone else in a situation similar to her's realizes that there are people, and an awesome God, who love them dearly. As soon as I found out that she was again struggling with eating disorders and depression I just wanted to go to her and be a vessel of God's light, warmth, and love so that she might know how infinitely His love for her stretches. And I totally love her and Seventeen magazine's new campaign, "Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect".
Grace and love,
Gina
PS- my two new(ish) "mantras" are "LOVE is the movement" and "A thankful heart is a happy heart". And check out one of my fave worship songs (below)! :)
There are so many things I could talk about, but I've chosen two focuses for tonight's entry- Jesus and people.
Firstly, and most importantly, I would just like to remind everyone that tomorrow is Good Friday. Good Friday is the day that Jesus was betrayed by Judas and carried the very cross he would be hanged on to the sight of his crucifixion. Easter Sunday, is the day Jesus was resurrected and ascended into heaven. To me, this is such a powerful, emotional holiday. How blessed are we to have been given Jesus- the living God in flesh who DIED so that we might join Him in heaven and live forever? That's certainly nothing I would be willing to do. I'd also like to remind everyone of Passover and the exodus of the Israelites out of Egypt. Great movies to check out, especially at this time of year, are The Ten Commandments, The Prince of Egypt, and The Passion of the Christ. If you haven't seen any or all of those, WATCH THEM! They're great, great movies that I watch time and time again.
Secondly, isn't it funny how people change? I was on Facebook, which seems to be more and more uncommon for me these days, and came across the profiles of two people- a cousin and an old friend- who have changed so drastically in the past 5 years. Sure, 5 years is a long time but not so long that I don't remember a time when I talked to these people everyday. They were among my best friends. I have many of these- numerous neighbors and countless classmates- so help me out here, why do people drift apart? I understand that like them I have changed but when I remember all of the things we did together, the days we spent together, I feel a pang in my heart because I miss them. And the truth is, it hurts. Maybe some day I'll have a better understanding of this but I definitely don't at this point in time. I am so blessed to have a great circle of friends, I just wish my old friends would join me. It's so hard to watch people throw their lives away, it really, really breaks my heart. I'm certainly not always right but I have my beliefs and nothing can change that. The reality of life is that not everybody has the same values and it's extremely difficult to maintain a strong relationship with someone who has different values than you. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm happy where I am and grateful for my friends and while I haven't stopped talking to said people, I miss the level of friendship we used to share.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to PRAISE THE LORD for his work in Demi Lovato's life. I hope, and pray, that she and anyone else in a situation similar to her's realizes that there are people, and an awesome God, who love them dearly. As soon as I found out that she was again struggling with eating disorders and depression I just wanted to go to her and be a vessel of God's light, warmth, and love so that she might know how infinitely His love for her stretches. And I totally love her and Seventeen magazine's new campaign, "Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect".
Grace and love,
Gina
PS- my two new(ish) "mantras" are "LOVE is the movement" and "A thankful heart is a happy heart". And check out one of my fave worship songs (below)! :)
Saturday, January 15, 2011
This is good.
I've had a lot on my mind lately so let's see where this post goes... I'm not promising cohesiveness.
First of all, my birthday was Monday and I'm now seventeen! I know, I'm having trouble believing it myself. So that's exciting...
Here's an idea I came up with in pre-calc the other day... Why don't we have career guided high school programs? If we were able to enroll in programs at our high school with classes particular to our career paths we would eliminate many needless classes which are currently required for graduation. Honestly, while computers and chemistry might be helpful to some people, it isn't to everyone. Neither is AP calculus. For example, I'm going to become an elementary school teacher. Wouldn't it make more sense if I took classes that would help me reach that goal? Besides, when you force students to take classes they are uninterested in they become unmotivated, frustrated, and in many cases drop out of school. We waste countless hours, infinite energy and stress over classes that won't influence us in our fast approaching futures. Clearly somebody agrees with me because this is how high school is in many European countries. For those who aren't sure what they want to do with their lives yet, there could always be a general program much like the one we all have to comply with currently.
Another thing, I don't want to drop any names, but RAT A TAT TAT is like my Nellie Oleson. For anyone who is confused, Nellie Oleson was a classmate of Laura Ingalls Wilder and though they knew each other for most of their childhoods, they never got along. Despite their differences, Laura, encouraged by her parents, strived to approach Nellie in a compassionate manner. Now, if it hasn't become clear by this point, I LOVE the Little House on the Prairie series- books, TV show, as well as some other works by Laura. This realization has helped me reach a new goal and yet another realization- just because I don't agree with the things RAT A TAT TAT does or the way she portrays herself doesn't mean she's a bad person and she is also a child of God. So I am trying to remember this when I am around her or feel the urge to say bad things about her. Trust me, it's harder than it sounds.
On a different note, boys are dumb, throw rocks at them. Just kidding, that wouldn't be kind. But for real, I'm so sick of players. If you know an awesome guy who loves Jesus, send him my way.
I bought myself, my brother Dominic, and my best guy friend Josh tickets to a concert today. On February fifth we are going to the Palace to see Avenged Sevenfold, Hollywood Undead, and Stone Sour. It will be interesting for sure. It will be Dominic's first concert and I haven't told him yet, I'm going to surprise him when the tickets come. The only band I listen to is Avenged, but Dom loves Hollywood Undead and Avenged so it will be perfect.
I'm sure you've heard of Benji Madden of Good Charlotte, one of my favorite bands. I also used to be "in love" with him when I was twelve, although it much more of an infatuation. Anyway, it's been brought to my attention that he is now the only member of his band who isn't married or has a kid. Also, as far as I know, he's recently reconnected with God, however, I get the sense that he doesn't realize how far God's love for him stretches. I honestly feel like God has placed this on my heart for a reason and I would appreciate it if you would help me in lifting him up in prayer so that whatever is going on in his life he feels fulfilled from the simplicity of knowing Him.
Another prayer request, if you could just pray for all of my grandparents it would be awesome. My grandpa, who is almost 89, is losing motivation and is struggling with depression, whether he'll admit or not. My grandma, lives alone, is endlessly lonely and has depreciating health. To be frank she's also lost her mind. My other grandma, has dementia and is doing pretty well right now but I always worry. In addition to my grandparents, I would like to lift my older brothers and my father in prayer for reasons I don't feel like going into.
I think this is where I'm going to stop for the night, but it breaks my heart to see all of the people in the world who have found their soul mates but in one way or another have lost them. I've seen so many people throw their lives away as a result and even if they find another, it will never be the same. I lift this up to God tonight, it is really heavy on my heart right now.
I've had a lot on my mind lately so let's see where this post goes... I'm not promising cohesiveness.
First of all, my birthday was Monday and I'm now seventeen! I know, I'm having trouble believing it myself. So that's exciting...
Here's an idea I came up with in pre-calc the other day... Why don't we have career guided high school programs? If we were able to enroll in programs at our high school with classes particular to our career paths we would eliminate many needless classes which are currently required for graduation. Honestly, while computers and chemistry might be helpful to some people, it isn't to everyone. Neither is AP calculus. For example, I'm going to become an elementary school teacher. Wouldn't it make more sense if I took classes that would help me reach that goal? Besides, when you force students to take classes they are uninterested in they become unmotivated, frustrated, and in many cases drop out of school. We waste countless hours, infinite energy and stress over classes that won't influence us in our fast approaching futures. Clearly somebody agrees with me because this is how high school is in many European countries. For those who aren't sure what they want to do with their lives yet, there could always be a general program much like the one we all have to comply with currently.
Another thing, I don't want to drop any names, but RAT A TAT TAT is like my Nellie Oleson. For anyone who is confused, Nellie Oleson was a classmate of Laura Ingalls Wilder and though they knew each other for most of their childhoods, they never got along. Despite their differences, Laura, encouraged by her parents, strived to approach Nellie in a compassionate manner. Now, if it hasn't become clear by this point, I LOVE the Little House on the Prairie series- books, TV show, as well as some other works by Laura. This realization has helped me reach a new goal and yet another realization- just because I don't agree with the things RAT A TAT TAT does or the way she portrays herself doesn't mean she's a bad person and she is also a child of God. So I am trying to remember this when I am around her or feel the urge to say bad things about her. Trust me, it's harder than it sounds.
On a different note, boys are dumb, throw rocks at them. Just kidding, that wouldn't be kind. But for real, I'm so sick of players. If you know an awesome guy who loves Jesus, send him my way.
I bought myself, my brother Dominic, and my best guy friend Josh tickets to a concert today. On February fifth we are going to the Palace to see Avenged Sevenfold, Hollywood Undead, and Stone Sour. It will be interesting for sure. It will be Dominic's first concert and I haven't told him yet, I'm going to surprise him when the tickets come. The only band I listen to is Avenged, but Dom loves Hollywood Undead and Avenged so it will be perfect.
I'm sure you've heard of Benji Madden of Good Charlotte, one of my favorite bands. I also used to be "in love" with him when I was twelve, although it much more of an infatuation. Anyway, it's been brought to my attention that he is now the only member of his band who isn't married or has a kid. Also, as far as I know, he's recently reconnected with God, however, I get the sense that he doesn't realize how far God's love for him stretches. I honestly feel like God has placed this on my heart for a reason and I would appreciate it if you would help me in lifting him up in prayer so that whatever is going on in his life he feels fulfilled from the simplicity of knowing Him.
Another prayer request, if you could just pray for all of my grandparents it would be awesome. My grandpa, who is almost 89, is losing motivation and is struggling with depression, whether he'll admit or not. My grandma, lives alone, is endlessly lonely and has depreciating health. To be frank she's also lost her mind. My other grandma, has dementia and is doing pretty well right now but I always worry. In addition to my grandparents, I would like to lift my older brothers and my father in prayer for reasons I don't feel like going into.
I think this is where I'm going to stop for the night, but it breaks my heart to see all of the people in the world who have found their soul mates but in one way or another have lost them. I've seen so many people throw their lives away as a result and even if they find another, it will never be the same. I lift this up to God tonight, it is really heavy on my heart right now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)